when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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