what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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