I puked a lego.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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