he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
