I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize