id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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