forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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