yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
