i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
