what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
