she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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