the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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