I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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