Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize