There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
