Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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