I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
