A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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