I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
