dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
