you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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