So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
