brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
