wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
