She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
