He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
