I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
