Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize