is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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