I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
