her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
