I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
