Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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