Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
