the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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