remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
