Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
