For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
