she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize