I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
