you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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