who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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