oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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