plz talk dirty to me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
