A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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