you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
