You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
