Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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