btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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