Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
