I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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