Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
