Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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