yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
