dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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