Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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