sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize