i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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