Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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