i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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