got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize