the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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