you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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